An Update on My Semi-Boring Life

Side note: I hope the title of this doesn’t need a “part 1” attached to it…

Anyways, sorry again for being a shitty blogger. I figure I owe you peeps another explanation for my absence from cyberspace. After three horrible months of being unemployed I’ve finally got a job (which I’ve had since October). What’s that you say? Didn’t I have time to write some blog entries while being unemployed for three months? No, no I didn’t have enough time to write some entries for my blog during the three months I spent not working and watching reruns of Golden Girls and the Martha Stuart Show. Jeez! I may have been unemployed, but I had a life!

Actually I spent those three months looking for work, blowing through my savings, and being paralyzed by the fear that is the post-college graduate world.  I was also taking really great care of my 7-year-old chocolate lab Max. Yeah, he’s the one you’ve seen about a billions pictures of on instagram and facebook because I have no life. Truthfully, having Max here with me during my bout of pitiful depression was very therapeutic. Taking care of him kept me from beating myself up too much.  But with some luck, right timing, and with the help of a friend, I secured a temporary job at Girl Scouts of Orange County. That’s right, I’m a Product Sales Assistant. Which basically means I help the Product Sales department with paperwork from their Nut and Cookies Sale! Yes, I know where they keep extra boxes of cookies. No, I’m not allowed to give them too you. Sorry.

I actually like my job. I’m making more money per hour than I used to, which is nice, and my coworkers are pretty awesome. The only mishap I’ve made is getting my finger caught between the freight elevator door and the little space it retracts up into. It took a nice little chunk of my finger with it and I had to fill out a lot of paperwork. I was mostly just embarrassed that I let a freight elevator almost eat my hand. But other than all that, I’m enjoying my time there. I know I’ve got it until the end of March (Cookie season!) and after that, I’m planning on making the trek up to LA to continue chasing the dream. Another terrifying bridge to cross when I get there, but it’s also an exciting thought. I’m still doing rewrites on a script that is technically in Development with a couple of my friends and myself.

So that’s basically all that’s been going on with me lately. I’m still trying to save money for a trip to somewhere/anywhere I haven’t been. Oh! And I’m taking scuba lessons this month! So, that’s another cool thing to look forward to. And I hope to blog more! So, keep looking out for more of my entries!

Peace out! 

I Is a College Graduate!

Well, peeps…  The rumors are true. As of Saturday, May 19^th, 2012 I earned a B.A. in Screenwriting from Chapman University’s Dodge College of Film and Media Arts. I have to say, this last year of college has been an amazing one for me. I’ve developed some close friendships with some awesome people. I was lucky enough to end up with probably the best roommates ever. I’m sad to have moved out so soon, but I’ll be keeping in touch with them. I participated in my first and last Undie Run. I feel like I’ve grown and matured as a person and young woman. Now I’m working and saving as much money as I can for one big trip. Either a roadtrip, or a trip abroad. Maybe even both if I can swing it. I’m happy with my life, where it’s going, and the people in it. I’ll continue writing, and working my scripts. And once I’ve eased my travel bug, I’ll be settling into an entry level job in the industry. But before I get to my all my future plans, let me start with my Graduation experience.

It's hard to explain what's happening here...

It’s hard to believe that only 3 years ago, I was just finishing up my freshman year of college, and wondering how the hell I was going to pay to go to Chapman. The Me three years ago would’ve freaked the fuck out at the thought of graduating college. The sheer uncertainty of it all scared me and on some level still does, but not nearly as much as things like that used to.  In fact, I dealt with the scary reality of graduating from college like any other normal college kid: sheer denial.

The weeks, days, and hours preceding commencement I spent freakishly calm. When my family got into town and constantly asked me how I was feeling, I could honestly say, “Eh, okay, I guess.” The days before graduation seemed normal to me because I was too busy working and finishing up my scripts. For some reason it was not registering that I was about to experience such an important event in my life. I guess I just thought that if I didn’t think about it, it wasn’t real. And that scenario worked up until the very last second before I was about to walk across the stage.

And I have to say, the people I sat next to during Graduation were the best people to share that experience with. It was such a monumental time in our lives, and we all sat there just joking and freaking out together, sipping flavored vodka from a water bottle that someone had in their pocket under their gown; all on the same page, all excited and terrified at the same time. Look at me, going on like we served in a war together or something. I guess in a way we did. We experienced college together, shared the good and bad times. It’s been  surreal, and this is just the beginning.  

We badass...

Now, graduation day itself probably couldn’t have gone better. My family from both sides came down, and there were no fights between them. My best friends that I’ve known for over 10 years came down to watch me graduate, and I love them so much for coming out to support me. We went out to dinner after commencement, and had a great time. Then my family went back to their hotels to let us kids enjoy ourselves. That’s right, we boozed it up like most college grads that night. My two goals for that night were to get really drunk and not puke. Guess what? Mission accomplished! I spent that night drinking and talking with my best friends from home, and a few of my close friends from Chapman. It was a great night, and more pictures probably should’ve been taken. While I’ve managed to remain almost disgustingly calm and relaxed about this frightening new chapter in my life, some of my friends have unfortunately succumbed to the fear that comes with new uncertainties that come after college graduation.

I sympathize with my friends who feel like this. I expected to feel like this, but for some reason I’ve been able to remain calm. Maybe it’s because I know it’s all going to work out. I have the same fear of failure driving me, but at the same time, I know that life goes on, and there’s no use worrying about things when I’m doing everything I can to succeed. I’m actually excited about all the new things I can experience now that I’m not tied to school work all year. I want to travel, see new places before I settle down into a job. Well, I know I have to actually look for a job to settle into, because I too know the difficulties in finding a job, let alone one in the entertainment industry. I have tens of thousands of dollars’ worth of student loans looming over my head that go into payment in December. That scares the shit out of me most of all, but again, I’ll deal with that when I get to it.

 So I hope that my scared friends realize that we’re still all in the trenches together, but we can enjoy these supposed awful times as we work our ways to the top. I hope my terrified colleagues take some time to be young, experience new and fun things, and just relax before we all become successful industry people with no time to relax. Take some time to pamper yourselves. After all, we just completed our four year degrees. At times, it was easy as pie, but there were also those times where we thought we’d never be able to finish that paper or script in order to pass that class. So let’s celebrate! I believe we deserve at least this one last summer to live it up. So cheers to all my graduates of 2012! I love you all, and I hope you all have an amazing summer! 

Cue: Alice Cooper’s School’s Out.

Last Spring Semester... Ever...

Let the Meltdowns begin...

Wow, I’ve really got to stay on top of these blog posts. I’m in my 6^th week of my last spring semester ever… I meant to write this blog on the first week because it probably would’ve been more poignant but, eh, whatever. So let’s rewind back to that first week and I’ll tell you what was going on.

During my first week of spring semester, I had a little too much time on my hands. Class wasn’t in full swing yet, so I had too much free time to stop and think about all the scary stuff that comes with graduating. My mind would race and I’d think: where am I going to live? Will I get a job in my field? Will I get a regular, bullshit job that allows me to house, clothe, and feed myself? You know, the usual. So by day two I’d already had a meltdown.

Now, I knew it was coming, and I’d tried to combat the stressful meltdown by going to the gym. Running like a tired fatty really does help relieve stress. Why can’t I convince my body to get addicted to healthy things like that? Anyways, it didn’t work and I burst into pitiful tears while on the phone with my dad. He did his best to console me, which pretty much worked, but I just needed to cry this out. I figured that since I was so busy in January with my interterm class, I put off thinking about all the scary school stuff until my schedule was a little lighter and I had the time, unfortunately, to think about it. So as helpful as my father’s words were, my stress-o-meter was full and the only way to relieve a full tank like that is to just cry it out. I told him that I’d be fine and I got off the phone with him. 

About ten minutes later, my mom called me and asked me what was wrong. This only caused more tears from me as I tried to explain that I knew I was worrying about things that I didn’t exactly have control over right now, but that I needed to cry about them anyway. So I got off the phone with her, again, saying that I’d be fine., but I was really planning on crying a little bit more in peace in my room. I could tell that I was probably almost done, and I was glad to have some me-time for a second. I got about five more minutes of crying me-time when Megan, my best friend from back home, skype-called me.

We spent a couple minutes trying to get her computer microphone to work, but to no avail. Finally, she ended up calling me on her cell and leaving the skype video on. BAM! Skype call in progress. She started by saying, “So how ya doin?” Like an idiot, I tried to pretend I hadn’t just spent a good twenty minutes crying. I responded “oh, fine.” And she said “Liar.” That is why I love her… That made me laugh and I went into my worries and stuff and how I knew they were irrational seeing as the only thing I could do right now is finish school and take it from there. I don’t even remember what she said to me because I’m a horrible blogger and didn’t write about it as soon as it happened, but all I know is that she consoled me and we spent a good hour talking about other things that made us both laugh. The only reason we had to stop our conversation is because I had to go to my tutoring job.

I can’t even explain what it meant to have Meg call me like that and get me in a better mood. I don’t have any siblings, but she and I are as close as it gets without being blood related. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say we’re even closer than real sisters because we’re not blood related. We don’t have to put up with each other, and console one another, but we do. I think she even understood my situation better than my parents did because she has similar fears, as does everyone our age. Since she had a better idea of what was going on, she was able to get me out of my funk for the rest of the day. I went to my tutoring job after I hung up with Meg, and even those little crazy brats made me feel better. I had fun, and didn’t think about my own bullshit for awhile.

So now I’m almost halfway through the semester and I’m feeling much better. I’m still terrified, and excited at the same time, but I’m waaay more busy with scripts and school work, as I should be. As long as I’m working on things that will ensure my future success, there’s no reason for me to worry about the little things that I can’t control right now. I’ve been telling myself that everything will fall into place and work itself out because it usually does, and as a result I’ve been a much happier person. Even though I’m not technically a full time student, between my 2 on campus jobs, my internship, and the minimum of three scripts that I’m working on, I’m still just as busy as I was last semester—and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m still going to the gym to keep my stress at bay, and that too has had some positive effects on my attitude. I’m still excited and terrified of what these next couple of months will bring, but I’m mostly excited. And it comforts me to know that 95% of the people my age are worried about the same things. We’re all in it together, and we’re all going to be ok.

Again with the sappy post, but, hey, that’s the kinda gal I am. J

Happy Holidays and New Year Adventures

Here it is, my first blog of the New Year. I made it past my last fall semester of college! I ended up with a 3.8 GPA which is probably the highest my GPA has been since high school. Yes, I’m over here patting myself on the back. Maybe I should get to the real point of this post…

I don’t know about the rest of you, but January for me is usually pretty depressing. I’m not sure what it is. I love the feeling that Christmastime brings. Schoolwork is over, and I get to visit all my friends and family back home. Not to mention my son. That’s right. I’m the proud mother of a 6-year-old named Max. While I’m away at college, my parents share custody of him. I miss him terribly while I’m at school. Here’s a picture of him dressed as a Christmas jester.

He's so purdy!

But once again, I digress. The point is: I get very happy in December, and I guess January ends up feeling miserable because of all the hype of Christmastime and seems to end too abruptly for me. But I guess this year kind of came with a lot of firsts and lasts that’s made me a little more nostalgic than usual.

For instance, this was the first time I was able to drink at my family functions. It was also my first Christmas with the newest addition to our family. He’s my second cousin, and his name is Marcus. Incidentally, it was Marcus’ first Christmas ever, and he too dipped into the alcohol… he was teething, so we rubbed some Jack Daniels on his gums.

Here we are both a lil tipsy.

This was also the first Christmas my grandma on my mom's side spent with us in about five years. She's become sort of a recluse these past few years, and I'm not sure why. Christmas Day we went to her house. It was a small function: just me, my mom, grandma, my uncle and his wife and son. The food was delicious-- she makes the best spaghetti! The family got along pretty well too, until my 4 year old cousin got mad and didn't want to show me his Nintendo 3DS because he thought I was going to steal it... Really, kid? I don't want your DS. I have a car!

Unfortunately, this was the last Christmas that I’d come home on a break from school for two weeks. Not too traumatic, but strange to think about. Even worse, it was also probably the last Christmas we’d be spending at my grandparents’ house. That place is very close to my heart because they’ve lived there longer than I’ve been alive and it’s the only permanent home I’ve ever known. They’re trying to sell it because they’re getting older and need to move closer to town so they can get around easier. But at least we had a great time as a family on Christmas Eve. The only thing I missed is that we didn’t get to build a fire in our fireplace while I was home. Mostly because it wasn’t really cold enough to build a fire. Which is strange because it’s winter! Where the hell is winter?

After Christmas, I was ready to ring in the New Year, but I got sick the whole last week of break. By New Years Eve I didn’t have a voice. So I didn’t speak all day and drank plenty of water so I’d be able to party that night. It worked and by 9pm I was at my best friend Megan’s house ready to drink, which I did plenty of. I also danced—a lot. So much that I was sore the next day just from getting my dance on. Ahh, good times. Even though we didn’t go out, it ended up being one of the best new years of my life. Here’s a sample of that night.

Why did she need a helmet? You don't even want to know...

Me and Meg also recorded a video on my phone that night. I found it on my phone two days later, and I only vaugely remember saying half the things I said on that video. That's a sign it was a good night :)

Also with the New Year is the fact that I’m about to start a new chapter in my life. I’m graduating this May and will be starting my career in the entertainment industry as I attempt to be a TV writer. I’ll be moving from Orange to LA. I’m in the midst of independently producing a feature film that I wrote last year (still in rewrites).  A couple of my friends that I met at my internship want to help me produce it in hopes that it can be a calling card for all of our careers. I also want to travel to Italy after I graduate, among other places. That excites me the most. Basically, I’m looking forward to doing new and exciting things instead of being a student for once. I’ll be a student of life! (Cheesy, but true). I’m looking forward to this new chapter in my life, and I want to seize every opportunity that I can.

It’s kind of strange that I feel this way. Four years ago when I was a senior in high school I was stressed out and terrified because I didn’t know where I would be in a year. I knew I’d be in college, but I just didn’t know where. I guess I had/have issues with change, but I realize this and now try to embrace change. This year, as a senior in college I really don’t know where I’ll be in a year. I won’t be a student, but God-willing I’ll have a job in my career field. But I’m not as terrified as I was back then. I’m more excited than terrified, and it’s actually comforting to know that I’ve grown so much in the past four years. I guess I know deep down that I’m going to be ok and everything will work itself out. It’s also comforting knowing that I’ll have the support of my friends and family the entire time.

I hope everyone’s holidays have been as fun and reflective as mine were. Sorry to get all sentimental on ya, but that’s what the New Year is about—reflection. So, until next time…

Peace, kids!