It started on July 27th. I was in Santa Cruz visiting some old friends, and having a grand 'ol time when my dad called me and said that my grandpa had fallen, hit his head, and couldn't really get up on his own, but he was still concious and they had called the ambulance just in case. I figured he'd be fine because he's grandpa. Sure, he'll be 80 in February, but he's not feeble. He's tough! It's not like he's some old person or something... So I went back to having a good time with my friends.
Good wine=Good conversations
Don't worry, we weren't drunken fools!
At about 2am that same night my dad sent me a text that said, "Just found out gpa has to have brain surgery early in the morning. Will keep you updated."......WTF! I couldn't believe it. I called my dad to ask what the hell was going on.
Apparently my grandpa had fallen and hit his head somewhere around 6 months ago and didn't tell anyone. That fall caused a bleed in his brain that, over a period of 6 months, worsened as his brain continued to swell. Subdural Hematoma is what they called it. I obviously decided to cut my trip short and head home.
So they raced him into emergency surgery, and while he was going in, he had a seizure. They fixed the bleed (which had caused the seizure), but for two weeks he wasn't really aware of what was going on. He was in intense pain because his head had been cut open, and he was strapped down to the hospital bed because in his dazed condition he was trying to pull out all the tubes in his body. And he had a pretty important drain in his head that needed to be kept in place. He progressed after the surgery, but by day 2 they discovered an air pocket in his brain from when they pulled the drain out. This caused him to regress. When his eyes were open he didn't recognize anyone. It was right about this time when my grandma hit her breaking point.
You see, we already had her to worry about before my grandpa got sick. About a month previous, her doctor had found a "mass" in her brain. It was about the size of a golfball, and it was still up in the air whether or not it was going to be removed because they needed to find out if it was cancer. My grandma went to a surgeon in Fresno who she seemed to trust to do the surgery, but she didn't want to have the surgery in Fresno because she'd have to go to Fresno Community, which is the trauma center of the Central Valley. They have the best doctors there that specialize in neurosurgery. My grandma, however, wanted a second opinion from someone at UCSF. So that's where we went.
I had to take my grandma to UCSF by myself because I was the only one with the day off. I was completely happy to do it because she's my grandma and I love her, but I'll be honest-- It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. My grandma is like a second mother to me. We're very close and she does whatever she can to help me out in school and every other aspect of life. But for the first time in my life, the tables seemed to be turned. Suddenly I found myself having to comfort her because she was in tears constantly. She was worried about herself and her husband of 56 years. The stress had really gotten to her, and I had to try and stay strong and comfort her. Like I said, the hardest thing I've ever done. How could I stay strong for her when she has always been my rock? I was also worried about her and grandpa's wellbeing because I couldn't stand the thought of living without them just yet. I mean, for Chrissake my grandparents aren't old!
At UCSF the doctor said the "mass" should be removed immediately. Grandma couldn't contain her tears, and neither could I. It's rough seeing your parents/grandparents cry. When the adults cry... shit is seriously wrong. They're usually the ones telling you that everything is going to be ok when you think all hope is lost, so their tears mean the end of the world, right?
So we had both grandparents in the hospital with brain surgeries to be had, one in Fresno, and one in San Francisco. Hearing the risks of a serious surgery like that was no fun either, by the way. Grandpa was finally awake and recognizing people. When I asked him if he knew my name he said, "It's Nicole. What do you think, I forgot?" I honstly expected him to call me Debbie (my aunt's name) because he would sometimes accidentally call me that before the brain injury.
My grandma came through her surgery fine, and just last week we learned that the mass was NOT cancer: some small miracle. Which makes me wonder: How did her brain even have room to grow that mass?
Grandpa is back at home after he literally tried to break out of the hospital. I saw him when he got to the rehab floor and they had this mesh cage over his hospital bed so he couldn't escape. It was sad/hilarious. He wanted my dad to smuggle him in a pocket knife, or get to a lawyer to get him a Writ of Habeus Corpus, whichever was faster... Yeah, he remembered what that was.
My grandma is on the mend and my grandpa needs 24/7 care for awhile so he doesn't walk outside by himself and fall again. Getting in home care is difficult because they don't qualify for free care, but they can't afford pay for it themselves. My dad and aunt, and best friend Megan are taking turns watching him and helping my grandma out while I finish out school. The brain injury has caused my grandpa to be very moody, and mean at times. He says hurtful things to family members that he doesn't really mean or remember. And there's really no telling if/when/and how long it's going to take for him to go back to normal.
It's been a strange time for me because it's like all of a sudden, overnight, they became old people. At 80 and 74, their age has finally caught up with them and it's heartbreaking. I only wish I could do more for them.
I also want to take this time to thank all my friends (and of course family) who saw that I was going through a rough time and offered me their condolences and constant support. Meg, I can't thank you enough for not only helping my family out but actually wanting to help us out. I can't get rid of you now, you know waaay too many family secrets ;) I love you girl!To date, this is the hardest thing I've had to go through and it's made me realize who my true friends are. I love you guys and I can only hope I can return the favor when any of you are having a rough time.
My grandparents, my dad, and aunt in their early years.
